Memories

In my Rose Garden of memories I see you standing there An angel in disguise Who taught me how to care I long to hear your voice for real not in my dreams I am missing you so much these days how empty my world seems People say time heals all wounds that someday the pain will subside But Grandma I can tell you I think they must have lied The emptiness I am feeling now is strong and I am weak These days go by without you so dreary and so bleak In my Rose Garden of memories I know you'll always be for though you're gone from this mortal world In my heart you'll always be

Losing Interest

These past two weeks I started to read, "A Year of Wonders". I stopped reading it. The plot itself is very interesting and intriguing. But... it got confusing... fast! The story is about a plague that haunts England in 1666 leaving citizens left in horror and despair. I realized that after losing both of my grandparents this year, maybe reading about constant death wasn't the best idea! But I'm contradicting myself... because I am also reading "Columbine". What's wrong with me? I think I need a slight or drastic genre change. Realizing my grandparents are gone has been a very difficult concept for me to fathom. Feelings of sadness and pain have hit me so erratically. Somedays I cry somedays I don't. It's difficult. It's easy to say that with time, the sadness will slowly fade away, but in my world, time makes it harder. I'm very fortunate though. My mom works at Visiting Nurse and Hospice Home, where I have been able to surround myself around her loving co- workers who have been there for my mom and I since my grandpa passed away in February. Walking into Hospice is always comforting for me, because there are so many people there who care for my Mom and I. The nurses are so sweet and do an amazing job with patients and their families. A Hospice nurse is so much more personable than an average nurse. When my grandma was at Hospice, the nurses were so caring and compassionate towards my family. They do what ever it takes to make sure the patient and family are comfortable. After she passed away, they swarmed my family and I with hugs. Some even started to cry with us. One of the nurses Yolanda, that helped my grandma for years always gives me the biggest hug and talks about how much she misses my grandma. Even though grieving a death of my grandparents has been a huge tragedy, so many people have reached out to my mom and I with open arms and show us time and time again, that they care.

Discriptive Project

So I meant to type this up (on my blog) a long time ago but I am going to give myself some credit and put it on my blog.

Picture- Of my mom Kristen in 1978 when she was a junior here at Homestead high school.

Observe:
      
           Space: Casual, close, confined, limited, tight, snug
        
           Posture: Relaxed, at ease, loose, comfortable, serene
         
           Facial Expression: Ecstatic, jolly, lively, chipper, blissful

           Attire: Casual, wrinkled, plaid, patterned, folksy, rumpled, simple

          Setting: Bustling, school (setting), unstressful, organized

In the picture of my Mother, she expresses a happy, chipper, jolly, and casual mood while hard at work in journalism class.

  Infer: Casual
           Ecstatic
           Normal
           Laid back
           Content
           Chipper
           Confined
           Busy
           Lively
           Sweet

Quote

     There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

Currently

     I'm so sad and dissappointed that I finished, The Girl with a Pearl Earring. It was such a good book and always left me wondering what will happen next. But in the end, Griet ended up leaving the Vermeer household and went back home to her family. The story doesn't go into much detail about what she does in life after leaving the Vermeer's house. But I know her life was forever changed once she saw the finished painting of her. In my mind, Griet was not a myth, but a true and priceless legend. That still lives on today.

          

Personality Test

Your Type is
ISFJ
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
22 12 62 50


I am:
slightly expressed introvert
slightly expressed sensing personality
distinctively expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

Even though I was supposed to do this last week, I just remembered now... I'm not feeling to well today so I thought, why not find out my personality! As you can see, I took the test. I don't quite understand what they mean but I do have an idea. I interpret myself as being very sensitive to other people's feelings as well as my own, analytical, curious, and my emotions and feelings have a big part in my decision making.

Sentences from "A Girl with a Pearl Earring"

-page 151- "I had wanted him to tell Catharina himself about me assisting him, to show that he was not afraid to tell her, that he supported me." "That is what I wanted."- Griet
In this statement, Griet is fed up with Catharina (Vermeer's wife) treating her bad and being suspicious and accusatory of what Griet and Vermeer were doing in the art studio. This in my opinion was a huge turning point in the story.

-page 159- "He is very powerful," "and you are but a maid. Who do you think will win that round of cards?" "You think I will become like the maid in the red dress?" "Only if you drink his wine."- conversation between Griet and Pieter at the meat market

-page 186- "You must take care then-" "Take care of what, sir?" "Take care to remain yourself." "To remain a maid, sir?" "That is not what I mean."- conversation between Griet and Vermeer
In this statement Vermeer reminds Griet to be herself and not be who he wants her to be. He wants her to be true to herself.

I will find strength in pain.

Wow. The Girl with a Pearl Earring has really taken me by surprise! I am a few chapters away from finishing the book but it is very different from what I thought it would be. From what I read this week, Griet finds out that her neighborhood is under a total quarantine because of an infectious illness in Delft. She panics and but later finds out from Pieter (a friend at the meat market) that her younger sister had died in the outbreak. Griet is devastated and immediately feels guilty that she wasn't there for her sister and her family at home. But as time passes on, she gets back into her paint mixing in Vermeer's art studio. It's therapeutic to Griet. 
     This week, I got back into the other book I am reading, Columbine. Both of these books have hit home personally. Like all of my other posts, losing both of my grandparents this year has been an enormous struggle. Each day is a struggle, having to hold in a lot of pain and heartache. And, each day, having to find the strength to move forward and recover. Easier said than done though. But I'm not using this blog by any means as some sort of guilt tactic. It is a true pain that will never go for me. Anyways,in one of my favorite songs, The Cave by Mumford and Sons they say, "I will find strength in pain." In both The Girl with a Pearl Earring and in Columbine, characters/ people learn to find strength in pain and find their own ways of mourning their losses. When you lose someone, at times, it seems like you run purely on strength itself. Strength to keep it together. Strength to live life. Strength to move on, but never forget.

Current

Current Books-

                     - Columbine-(34-52)- (18 Pages)
                     - The Girl with a Pearl Earring- (67-169) (102 Pages)
              
 Pages this week-120
 Pages this semester- 221

Sentences- The Girl with a Pearl Earring

"You look tired," "Your eyes are red."- Pg.115
This sentence said a lot to me. That Griet is overworked, and stressed. But, she knows deep down that she just hasn't been getting enough sleep because of all the time spent in the art studio.

"I would never be rich enough to own such a comb."- Pg.103


"What color are those clouds?" "Why, white sir." He raised his eyebrows slightly. "Are they?"- Pg.101

Distractions

Sometimes we can get caught up in the new things we discover. This week, I've continued to read The Girl with a Pearl Earring. Griet, has started to find her place in the Vermeer household in Delft. Tension and jealousy arises between Griet and Catharina (Vermeer's wife) when she finds out that Griet has been spending more time in the art studio with her husband. But the circumstance is much different than you would think. Vermeer, enjoys Griet's presence and gives her lessons on how to mix paints. As time passes by, the closer Griet and Vermeer get. Eventually, Vermeer asks Griet if he can paint a portrait of her for a client of his. This startles the optimistic Griet and with some persuasion and time to consider the offer, Griet accepts. Gossip around Delft arises about her and how Vermeer is going to paint her. Of course Catharina hears about this mysterious rumors and confronts her about them. After the harsh confrontation, Griet begins to realize how jealous Catharina is about the time she has been spending with Catharina's husband. Eventually she leaves the Vermeer house heartbroken an disappointed. The plot in this story is very typical and common. The person gets so caught up in something new that they enjoy that they don't realize how it affects other people. As well as themselves. As I have been reading this book, I completely understand the hardships that Griet has to face. Losing a loved one, feeling alone and having to keep all of the pain and hurt bottled up inside. As well as trying to get through each day the best way possible. When dealing with pain, it is nice to have a distraction from it all. In the story, Griet finds an easy escape from her hardships and chores around the house by working in the art studio with Vermeer each day. Griet is awed by the vibrant, bold colors of Vermeer's paintings. It becomes imminent that art and painting is Griet's new therapy. Her escape, her form of relaxation. I immediately made the connection between Griet and I, that art is a great therapy. After I lost my grandma this summer, I used my artistic abilities to vent the pain I felt about the death of my grandma. Ever since I was little, I have always enjoyed making jewelry. The concept of patterns, color and balance intrigued me at a young age and I've self taught myself how to bead ever since. About a year ago, I made my grandma two little garnet and pearl bracelets. She never took them off. After she passed my mother gave them back to me and I never take them off. Whenever I look at them, I remind myself that my art was and is appreciated by other people. And that I should keep persuing it. I have learned from this story thus far that it is okay to have a distraction from the hectic world we live in. But, to not get too caught up in it. A good balance of fantasy and reality is key to happiness.