Finally!

Final blog post? Nahh. This is the end to a new beginning. A beginning of a stronger love for reading books on my own. I really have enjoyed this class and I didn't think it would have such a strong emphasis on reading and writing. But it has been so amazing! Before this class I will shamefully say that I only read one book this summer. But I had my reasons. I was destined and focused on taking care of my terminally ill Grandmother while my parents were gone at work. We'd do puzzles, sit outside under the cottonwood tree and listen to the crickets chirping mellifluous songs of happiness. My Grandma kept nagging me to read more, I didn't. But now, I've been reading non stop. It's something I do for a grade in etymology and for my Grandma. Reading for this class brings me back to the days when I would stay at her house and we would sit on her big bed with the soft fluffy white duvet and read an entire book. My favorite? Stuart Little of course! My Grandma always said I was her little mouse, because I was her youngest and smallest Grandchild, and the sweetest. During her last weeks on Earth, I asked her why she loved reading so much and she said,"Reading is my escape from thinking about cancer. Cancer maybe lethal, but reading NEVER is!"

Update: Week 10

     Like last week, I am still reading "Open" by Andre Agassi. It has been so inspiring and very motivational. Agassi does not hold back in this book, he is totally, one hundred percent, brutally honest about what his life was like being in the tennis spotlight. His words are so perceptive and observant about what life was like around him. Agassi often mentions in the book about how fatigued, sore, and tired he is of tennis and how much he truly hated it. He talks about the rituals he performed before playing matches, and one which was being stretched out on a therapy table. The way Agassi describes it is gross but gave me a true feeling of what he was struggled with and went through. Pain. Tennis was his job though, and he knew that as well as his wife, Steffi Graf who was a very successful tennis player as well. The thing that I adore about Andre Agassi and Steffi Graf is that they were such successful athletes and tennis players. But, they used their success and money to create a school in Las Vegas, Nevada for under privelaged children. The AAFE (Andre Agassi Foundation for Education) has given kids a chance they have never been given, to get an education. Athletes who use their money to create better opportunities for other people other than themselves really moves me. Not many athletes write their biography all by themselves, are one hundred percent honest in their book, and turn around and do good with all of the money they earn. Andre Agassi was one of many tennis greats that forever changed the game of tennis. I have a big pet peeve, when a person is caught doing something wrong and are too stubborn to admit their wrong doing and are too stubborn to learn from it and turn it into something positive. We are all human, we ALL make mistakes. Some big, some small. Regardless, being able to admit you messed up and apologizing and turning it into something positive takes guts. It doesn't make you less of a person. It makes you a much better one. If Andre Agassi, Tiger Woods, and Michael Vick can admit for their wrong doings, anyone can!

Behind

     Where to start, where to start. I am so behind, that it's stressing me out beyond belief. It's not that I'm some lazy, careless student. I am just so tired, I have all of this work to do and so little time for personal time. I’ve turned into this sad, fatigued person. You may see this as a complaint, but I see this as my way of expressing how I feel. You may think that this has nothing to do with Etymology, but lately, the grieving process has gotten worse for me. The more time that passes, the better realization I am getting that my grandparents are truly gone. They were a part of my everyday life, and life without them, has not been very pleasant. The thing that gets me is knowing my grandma won't be able to see me graduate next year. That really hasn't been an easy thing for me to realize and digest. I'm the youngest and last grandchild, and ever since I was little, she promised me that she'd be there. These feelings of loss, sadness, and fatigue keep coming back to haunt me, and I never know when they will hit me. When they do, I feel like a statue. I grow tired. And on top of that, I fall behind on school work which makes me feel even worse. It's not that I don't care about my school work, I've just had other things standing in the way. I want so desperately to knock that wall down, but I know that will take some time. I know that I have been knocked down, and I need a little time to get back up.

Currently

     Recently, I started to read "Open" by Andre Agassi. As you know, Andre Agassi is one of the best tennis players that ever lived. But what caught my eye right away in the book was that he actually HATED tennis! He hated tennis with a passion! Agassi never had a choice though. He was born to be a "tennis star" at birth. He talks about his dad in the book and how much he pushed Andre into becoming a "tennis star". I really am enjoying this book so far, I love how detailed Agassi is. He using powerful words to show and express his pain and fatigue from playing tennis for so long. He talks about how everything aches and stings, it was very easy to conclude that he was just plain tired.

Quarterly

     This quarter, I read some really excellent books. They all except one, had good morals and lessons. I really enjoyed A Girl with a Pearl Earring the plot in this story was so simple but yet it had such a big moral to it. To not lose yourself, and to always remember to be yourself and no one else. Griet really struggled with that in the book and was constantly reminding herself to not be someone else in the eyes of the Vermeer family.
     I also read Columbine. When I picked up the book to start reading it, I had an idea of what I was getting myself into, but I didn't think this book was going to be that in depth about the 1999 Columbine High School Massacre. It's left a permanent mark on me, that tragedies like Columbine happen, but you can't live your life constantly reminding yourself that a tragedy like that could happen.

Favorite Sentences of the Quarter

1.)  A Girl with a Pearl Earring -page 159- "He is very powerful," "and you are but a maid. Who do you think will win that round of cards?" "You think I will become like the maid in the red dress?" "Only if you drink his wine."- conversation between Griet and Pieter at the meat market

        Why I love it- I love this paragraph, because it shows that Griet was coming out of her own little protective shell and standing up for herself. In the 1660's a girl would probably never do such a thing like what Griet does in this chapter but it inspires me to come out of my shell once in a while and stand up for what I think is right.

2.) A Girl with a Pearl Earring- Whatever Catholics did on Sundays, I did not want to be among them."- Griet

        Why I love it- I find it quite humorous that Griet had a little chip on her shoulder which was her dislike for the Roman Catholic Church. In the book, Griet is bothered and brutally disgusted by the large gold crucifix hanging on the wall across from her bed in her room. And I find it hilarious how Griet wasted no time in taking it down. It really showed me her rebellious side and that she was more than just a housemaid working for the Vermeers.

3.) -Page 9-"It will keep the family in bread. And a bit of cheese. That's not so little."- Griet

              Why I love it- I love how Griet is willingly going to live with the Vermeer family to keep her family afloat. This sentence was at the very beginning of the story and for her to say that so early on, shows a lot of maturity for a girl her age to say something like that. 

Update

     This week I have been reading more of "Columbine". It's really an interesting book! I find myself having to go back and reread chapters to understand the chapter I would currently be reading. So it has been hard to keep track of where I am in the story. There was so much more to know about Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold than what we already knew, which was the terror they brought upon Columbine High School April 20th, 1999. I find it chilling how freakishly good Dylan and Eric were at covering up their rage and anger at the world. On the outside, they lived completely normal teenage boy lives. They both had "plans" after they graduated high school (which was less than two months away). They both attended Columbine's prom the weekend before, and both had exceptional grades in school. No one really took the time to put the pieces together to realize how angry these two boys were at the world. There was so much evidence that could have prevented the tragic outcome of the Columbine Massacre. Dylan Klebold's father for years kept note of Dylan's behavior and actions, Eric and Dylan were both arrested in 1998 theft, and one of Eric's teachers reported one of Eric's violent and disturbing essays he wrote for his composition class, and both of their Bipolar, on edge and explosive tempers. All of the evidence was there, no one took the time to get help for those boys. It led to the worst school shooting in United States history (pre Virginia Tech ca. 2007). We all know that Kelly Fleming, Steven Curnrow, Rachel Scott, Isaiah Shoels, Lauren Townsend, Dave Sanders, Cassie Bernall, Daniel Mauser, Corey DePooter, John Tomlin, Kyle Velasquez, Daniel Rohrbough, and Matt Kechter might be alive today if it weren't for Eric and Dylan's deadly massacre. But the tragedy had some good come out of it. New laws were put in place to increase external and internal security at schools around the nation, Rachel's Challenge a program created by Rachel's older brother that tours the country to different schools spreading the importance of kindness might not have been created, and we were able to get better evidence and create more resources for kids like Dylan and Eric to help get psychological help. From reading this book, I can't help but feel that there is always some good that comes from these devistating tragedies. R.I.P.- Lauren, Kelly, Daniel R., Isaiah, Dave, Daniel M., Rachel, Kyle, Steven, John, Corey, Matt, and Cassie. Your legacies live on forever. Always Remember, Never Forget. 4/20/99.

"She said yes"- Cassie Bernall's mother. Cassie's mother wrote a book about how her daughter was a true martyr and stood up for her faith in Jesus.

Quote of the Week

     This is your life. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don't like something, change it. If you don't like your job, quit. If you don't have enough time, stop watching T.V. If you're looking for the love of your life, stop; they'll be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms and heart to new things, and people, we are united by differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once, seize them. Life is about the people you meet, and the things you create with them. So go out and start creating. Life is short. Live your dream, and wear your passion. -Anonymous

Memories

In my Rose Garden of memories I see you standing there An angel in disguise Who taught me how to care I long to hear your voice for real not in my dreams I am missing you so much these days how empty my world seems People say time heals all wounds that someday the pain will subside But Grandma I can tell you I think they must have lied The emptiness I am feeling now is strong and I am weak These days go by without you so dreary and so bleak In my Rose Garden of memories I know you'll always be for though you're gone from this mortal world In my heart you'll always be

Losing Interest

These past two weeks I started to read, "A Year of Wonders". I stopped reading it. The plot itself is very interesting and intriguing. But... it got confusing... fast! The story is about a plague that haunts England in 1666 leaving citizens left in horror and despair. I realized that after losing both of my grandparents this year, maybe reading about constant death wasn't the best idea! But I'm contradicting myself... because I am also reading "Columbine". What's wrong with me? I think I need a slight or drastic genre change. Realizing my grandparents are gone has been a very difficult concept for me to fathom. Feelings of sadness and pain have hit me so erratically. Somedays I cry somedays I don't. It's difficult. It's easy to say that with time, the sadness will slowly fade away, but in my world, time makes it harder. I'm very fortunate though. My mom works at Visiting Nurse and Hospice Home, where I have been able to surround myself around her loving co- workers who have been there for my mom and I since my grandpa passed away in February. Walking into Hospice is always comforting for me, because there are so many people there who care for my Mom and I. The nurses are so sweet and do an amazing job with patients and their families. A Hospice nurse is so much more personable than an average nurse. When my grandma was at Hospice, the nurses were so caring and compassionate towards my family. They do what ever it takes to make sure the patient and family are comfortable. After she passed away, they swarmed my family and I with hugs. Some even started to cry with us. One of the nurses Yolanda, that helped my grandma for years always gives me the biggest hug and talks about how much she misses my grandma. Even though grieving a death of my grandparents has been a huge tragedy, so many people have reached out to my mom and I with open arms and show us time and time again, that they care.

Discriptive Project

So I meant to type this up (on my blog) a long time ago but I am going to give myself some credit and put it on my blog.

Picture- Of my mom Kristen in 1978 when she was a junior here at Homestead high school.

Observe:
      
           Space: Casual, close, confined, limited, tight, snug
        
           Posture: Relaxed, at ease, loose, comfortable, serene
         
           Facial Expression: Ecstatic, jolly, lively, chipper, blissful

           Attire: Casual, wrinkled, plaid, patterned, folksy, rumpled, simple

          Setting: Bustling, school (setting), unstressful, organized

In the picture of my Mother, she expresses a happy, chipper, jolly, and casual mood while hard at work in journalism class.

  Infer: Casual
           Ecstatic
           Normal
           Laid back
           Content
           Chipper
           Confined
           Busy
           Lively
           Sweet

Quote

     There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

Currently

     I'm so sad and dissappointed that I finished, The Girl with a Pearl Earring. It was such a good book and always left me wondering what will happen next. But in the end, Griet ended up leaving the Vermeer household and went back home to her family. The story doesn't go into much detail about what she does in life after leaving the Vermeer's house. But I know her life was forever changed once she saw the finished painting of her. In my mind, Griet was not a myth, but a true and priceless legend. That still lives on today.

          

Personality Test

Your Type is
ISFJ
Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Strength of the preferences %
22 12 62 50


I am:
slightly expressed introvert
slightly expressed sensing personality
distinctively expressed feeling personality
moderately expressed judging personality

Even though I was supposed to do this last week, I just remembered now... I'm not feeling to well today so I thought, why not find out my personality! As you can see, I took the test. I don't quite understand what they mean but I do have an idea. I interpret myself as being very sensitive to other people's feelings as well as my own, analytical, curious, and my emotions and feelings have a big part in my decision making.

Sentences from "A Girl with a Pearl Earring"

-page 151- "I had wanted him to tell Catharina himself about me assisting him, to show that he was not afraid to tell her, that he supported me." "That is what I wanted."- Griet
In this statement, Griet is fed up with Catharina (Vermeer's wife) treating her bad and being suspicious and accusatory of what Griet and Vermeer were doing in the art studio. This in my opinion was a huge turning point in the story.

-page 159- "He is very powerful," "and you are but a maid. Who do you think will win that round of cards?" "You think I will become like the maid in the red dress?" "Only if you drink his wine."- conversation between Griet and Pieter at the meat market

-page 186- "You must take care then-" "Take care of what, sir?" "Take care to remain yourself." "To remain a maid, sir?" "That is not what I mean."- conversation between Griet and Vermeer
In this statement Vermeer reminds Griet to be herself and not be who he wants her to be. He wants her to be true to herself.

I will find strength in pain.

Wow. The Girl with a Pearl Earring has really taken me by surprise! I am a few chapters away from finishing the book but it is very different from what I thought it would be. From what I read this week, Griet finds out that her neighborhood is under a total quarantine because of an infectious illness in Delft. She panics and but later finds out from Pieter (a friend at the meat market) that her younger sister had died in the outbreak. Griet is devastated and immediately feels guilty that she wasn't there for her sister and her family at home. But as time passes on, she gets back into her paint mixing in Vermeer's art studio. It's therapeutic to Griet. 
     This week, I got back into the other book I am reading, Columbine. Both of these books have hit home personally. Like all of my other posts, losing both of my grandparents this year has been an enormous struggle. Each day is a struggle, having to hold in a lot of pain and heartache. And, each day, having to find the strength to move forward and recover. Easier said than done though. But I'm not using this blog by any means as some sort of guilt tactic. It is a true pain that will never go for me. Anyways,in one of my favorite songs, The Cave by Mumford and Sons they say, "I will find strength in pain." In both The Girl with a Pearl Earring and in Columbine, characters/ people learn to find strength in pain and find their own ways of mourning their losses. When you lose someone, at times, it seems like you run purely on strength itself. Strength to keep it together. Strength to live life. Strength to move on, but never forget.

Current

Current Books-

                     - Columbine-(34-52)- (18 Pages)
                     - The Girl with a Pearl Earring- (67-169) (102 Pages)
              
 Pages this week-120
 Pages this semester- 221

Sentences- The Girl with a Pearl Earring

"You look tired," "Your eyes are red."- Pg.115
This sentence said a lot to me. That Griet is overworked, and stressed. But, she knows deep down that she just hasn't been getting enough sleep because of all the time spent in the art studio.

"I would never be rich enough to own such a comb."- Pg.103


"What color are those clouds?" "Why, white sir." He raised his eyebrows slightly. "Are they?"- Pg.101

Distractions

Sometimes we can get caught up in the new things we discover. This week, I've continued to read The Girl with a Pearl Earring. Griet, has started to find her place in the Vermeer household in Delft. Tension and jealousy arises between Griet and Catharina (Vermeer's wife) when she finds out that Griet has been spending more time in the art studio with her husband. But the circumstance is much different than you would think. Vermeer, enjoys Griet's presence and gives her lessons on how to mix paints. As time passes by, the closer Griet and Vermeer get. Eventually, Vermeer asks Griet if he can paint a portrait of her for a client of his. This startles the optimistic Griet and with some persuasion and time to consider the offer, Griet accepts. Gossip around Delft arises about her and how Vermeer is going to paint her. Of course Catharina hears about this mysterious rumors and confronts her about them. After the harsh confrontation, Griet begins to realize how jealous Catharina is about the time she has been spending with Catharina's husband. Eventually she leaves the Vermeer house heartbroken an disappointed. The plot in this story is very typical and common. The person gets so caught up in something new that they enjoy that they don't realize how it affects other people. As well as themselves. As I have been reading this book, I completely understand the hardships that Griet has to face. Losing a loved one, feeling alone and having to keep all of the pain and hurt bottled up inside. As well as trying to get through each day the best way possible. When dealing with pain, it is nice to have a distraction from it all. In the story, Griet finds an easy escape from her hardships and chores around the house by working in the art studio with Vermeer each day. Griet is awed by the vibrant, bold colors of Vermeer's paintings. It becomes imminent that art and painting is Griet's new therapy. Her escape, her form of relaxation. I immediately made the connection between Griet and I, that art is a great therapy. After I lost my grandma this summer, I used my artistic abilities to vent the pain I felt about the death of my grandma. Ever since I was little, I have always enjoyed making jewelry. The concept of patterns, color and balance intrigued me at a young age and I've self taught myself how to bead ever since. About a year ago, I made my grandma two little garnet and pearl bracelets. She never took them off. After she passed my mother gave them back to me and I never take them off. Whenever I look at them, I remind myself that my art was and is appreciated by other people. And that I should keep persuing it. I have learned from this story thus far that it is okay to have a distraction from the hectic world we live in. But, to not get too caught up in it. A good balance of fantasy and reality is key to happiness. 

Current

Current Books- Abigail Adams (Biography)
                       - Girl with a Pearl Earring
                       - Columbine

Total Pages read this week- 101 pages

Sentences

"It will keep the family in bread. And a bit of cheese. That's not so little."- Griet (The Girl with a Pearl Earring) page. 9

        This statement from Griet really showed me that she was mature enough to understand why she had to leave her family to go work for a family.


"He had not said a word to me since we had discussed the color and shapes of vegetables."- Griet (The Girl with a Pearl Earring) page. 45

             This shows the relationship between Griet and the painter (the Father of the house Griet works for)


"Whatever Catholics did on Sundays, I did not want to be among them."- Griet

This sentence shows that Griet is not a fan of Catholics.

Courage.

    The Girl with a Pearl Earring has been an incredibly easy story for me to relate to. Griet, a sixteen-year-old girl from seventeenth century Holland (the Netherlands) discovers that her father is injured and cannot work. Griet finds herself having to be sent off to work as a maid for a wealthy Catholic family across town to keep her family afloat.

     Griet’s “sticky situation” hits home for me. This summer, could not have been any worse for my family. My grandma decided to stop the gruesome chemotherapy treatments for her ovarian cancer. Eventually, she was unable to take care of herself without constant assistance. She came to live with my family and me in late June. Each day was worse than the day before. My grandma grew weaker and weaker each day. She didn’t have to tell us, we knew she was tired. Tired of being so painfully weak.  Tired of the pain. Tired of suffering. But she never gave up; she was so determined to live life. As stoic as my grandma was, we could still tell that she was afraid. She was afraid we had given up on her. Never. Her last month with my family and I was incredible. She was able to see my cousin Meredith graduate from South Side High School in June, we watched “The King’s Speech” together, strolled around the block at night, and picked blueberries. Being able to spend so much time with her was an absolute blast. The time came and we all knew she wasn’t far from the end. My grandma passed away at Hospice Home in late July. Each day is a challenge for me, but it brings me so much relief that she isn’t suffering or in pain anymore. It is so hard having to do things for the first time without her. My grandma wasn’t just an ordinary grandma; she was so head strong and had a big heart. My grandpa died of a heart attack in 1964 when my mom was only three years old. This left my grandma alone to raise three young children under the age of 12 in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. She kept her wits and got through it. I admired her incredible strength and courage. My grandma later remarried my step grandfather in 1971. They were the most incredible people to ever live on this planet. They traveled to Guatemala and Mexico several times on mission trips to help the poor; and delivered food to the poor in Fort Wayne for over 25 years. I was fortunate enough to live only a mile down the road from them growing up, and spent almost every day with them. When they died, it was incredibly difficult having to hold back that pain of losing my grandma and grandpa. In the story Griet has to adjust to her new life by making an ultimate sacrifice for her family. Griet was homesick and missed her family terribly at first. But Griet found ways to remember them when she was away. Like Griet, I found ways to remember my grandparents. To this day, I have my grandma’s name written on my wrist with a big heart around it. I did this because the nurse who took care of my grandma told me to write her on my heart because she touched the hearts of so many people during her life.

     Later on in the story, Griet realized that she was doing the right thing for her family and herself by working as a maid. Like Griet, I learned this summer that making sacrifices for family is a part of life, and that it pays off in the end. Money cannot buy family, because family is priceless.

Hola!

Hola! New Blog!